Tag Archives: Old Bony Blue Eyes

RJL Evans Highlights Lita Burke’s Forever Boy

Lita takes Gentle Reader out on the web today to see what R.J.L. Evans, the author of ‘Mr Pimplesnack and the Flying Moon Bus’ has to say about Forever Boy.

Forever Boy by Lita Burke

“Life is dirty, difficult, and all too short for the dogs digging up the deadly mandrake roots that wizards animate with minor demons. A pup named Go Fer has an odd magical talent. He does not die from the fatal screams of newly unearthed mandrakes. Go Fer’s master, a prideful minor magician, sees Go Fer’s talent as a fluke saving him the cost of replacing dogs killed by the mandrakes’ cries.

“Check out this wonderful title by Lita Burke…”

One morning, a young Wizard Kadmeion and his half-elf assistant Bright watch Go Fer at work. This mandrake extraction goes horribly wrong, and Go Fer runs away during the hubbub. After seeking out the wizard, the dog’s life is not the same. In fact, Kadmeion discovers Go Fer is not a dog after all. More…“

Read more about Lita’s Clockpunk Wizard world:

Most Popular Blog Post in 2015

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Of all the new posts on Lita’s blog last year, here was the most popular for 2015. Kadmeion talked about his vacation visiting the unicorns on Wuddlekins Island, and Lita explained the Internet and eBooks to a 16th century wizard. Here is how the wizard’s interview started…

“On Wizard Kadmeion’s airship, the forward sitting room has the best views and conversation. Lita invites Gentle Reader to join the chitchat with the characters in her upcoming story, Glitter Ponies.

Wizard Kadmeion

The twenty-something-year-old wizard takes a seat on a nearby Chesterfield, and studies us with his handsome dark brown eyes. His unstarched casual white shirt has a discreet gold-embroidered Magic Guild insignia near the left collar.

He wears a souvenir from his Glitter Ponies trip on the right side of his head. Kadmeion has braided an intricate gentleman’s hair clasp into some tendrils of his long brown hair. The wizard’s boy-fey, Izlyesende, clings to the clasp. When the fairy fans his beautiful green-mottled wings, they brush Kadmeion’s cheek. More…“

Find out more about Kadmeion’s world of Clockpunk Wizard:

Bestiarum Vocabulum: Familiar

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The Bestiarum Vocabulum is the wizard’s encyclopedia of faerie beasties and mundane crossovers living in the lake and forest near Lita’s castle.

Sorceress’s Familiar

familiar [fə milyər] noun, c.1325; ME < L familiāris; replacing ME famulier < MF < L; also totem, animal spirit, mage’s critter

Denizen of the Clockpunk Wizard world.
A sentient magical animal that bonds to a human wizard or sorceress. Human mages can acquire many familiars, although one is the normal number. Depending on the quality of the magician, a familiar’s magical ability ranges from a few simple spells, to using mind voice and other advanced magic. Only the most talented mages acquire a familiar that is a magical hybrid, such as a cynanthrope, werecat, or faun.
Personages: Furgo, Wizard Kadmeion’s magical hybrid familiar in Forever Boy and Old Bony Blue Eyes. Also Vixen-shay, the Winter Wizard’s mink familiar in Glitter Ponies.
See “Dramatis Personæ: Furgo” and “Go Fer and Furgo”

Bestiarum Vocabulum: Rig Monkey

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The Bestiarum Vocabulum is the wizard’s encyclopedia of faerie beasties and mundane crossovers living in the lake and forest near Lita’s castle.

Rig Monkey

rig monkey [rig muhng kee] noun, c.1520; < LowGer moneke, equivalent mone- (obsolete Fr monne she-ape) + -ke diminutive suffix; also airship rigger

Denizen of the Clockpunk Wizard world.
A type of small homunculus inhabited by a minor demon, shaped like a miniature fur-covered human, that attends the sails, lines, and superstructure of an airship.
A human or magical hybrid (e.g. a harpy, or the half-human and half-elf narfleet), that performs the heavier tasks of airship rigging that cannot be done by the homunculus rig monkey.
Personages: Sir Bright worked at the Agatha Island zeppelin yard as a Rig Monkey before becoming Wizard Kadmeion’s assistant.
See “Dramatis Personæ: Bright,” “Twice-Seventh Son Elf Magic” and “Monkey Business About Old Bony Blue Eyes”

Bestiarum Vocabulum: Wee Wildebeest

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The Bestiarum Vocabulum is the wizard’s encyclopedia of faerie beasties and mundane crossovers living in the lake and forest near Lita’s castle.

Wee Wildebeest

wee wildebeest [wē wildə bēst ] noun, c.1835; < Afrikaans wildebees < Dutch wildebeest, means “wild” wild + beest “beast”; also gnu.

Denizen of the Clockpunk Wizard world.
A herbivore herd animal that eats grasses containing trace levels of ambient magic. Mature females stand six hands high (24 inches) at the withers; males reach nine hands high (36 inches). Males weigh 4-6 stone (55-75 pounds), and females are 3-5 stone (44-64 pounds). Because wee wildebeest are not sentient magical creatures, they cannot cast spells. Predators hunt them for the traces of residual magic in their flesh. Wild wee wildebeest thrive in the sere interior grasslands on large floating islands. Heat demons and wild wee wildebeest congregate for protection from predators. Grassland satyrs were the first to domesticate wild wee wildebeest.
Personages: The wild herds on Veldt Island in Ephraim’s Curious Device, and the domesticated herds on the Raeburn Island ranchland in Old Bony Blue Eyes.
See “Bestiarum Vocabulum: Grassland Satyr”

Dramatis Personæ: Probability

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The Dramatis Personæ is the roster of conjurers and sentient magical creatures staying in the many rooms, grottos, and byways of Lita’s castle. Here is an entry in the guest book for the Clockpunk Wizard Wing.

Miss Probability

Probability [prä-bə-ˈbi-lə-tē] proper noun, c. 1550; ME probabilis from probare to test < L probābilitās; also Luck’s Child, Luck’s Brat (derogatory), Daughter of Fickle Numbers, Baby Needs New Shoes

Profession: Heir-apparent for the Personification Office of Lady Luck
Race: Human, female, nine-year-old child
Appearance: Blue eyes, blond hair, medium build
Full Name: Amabel Probability Juliana Luck
Formal Title: Lady Luck to Be
Honorifics: Miss Luck, Miss Probability
Education: Homeschooled
Milieu: Probability is a denizen of the Clockpunk Wizard world

Probability’s Home is a Castle in the Upper Wager Meadows of Fluke Island

Probability is the oldest child of Sorceress Lady Luck and Death’s Wizard Mephistopheles.

Her younger brother is Chance Luck, and her family awaits the arrival of a second daughter. Probability also has a grandmother, Sorceress Amabel, who was the previous Lady Luck.

Because the magic for the Death Personification Office is harmful to children, and her parents are estranged, Probability lives on floating Fluke Island with her mother and brother. Their home is a sprawling casino and castle complex in the Upper Wager Meadows. She has not met her father. Probability plans to visit him where he lives on Undying Island, beyond the rim of their plate-shaped ocean world, when she is old enough to survive the journey.

Probability is Gifted in Mathematics, Language, and the Magical Arts

Probability is a precocious child in mathematics, language, and the magical arts. Her well-to-do mother hires the best tutors for the non-magical aspects of her children’s education.

Lady Luck personally teaches Probability and her brother the magical arts. Her mother anticipates that Probability will attend the Agatha University of Magical Arts and Sciences, and become the most powerful human sorceress of her generation.

As many girls are wont to do, Probability adores unicorns and horses. Her mother maintains a horse stables, and accompanies the children on frequent equestrian outings. Because unicorns need special care, Lady Luck has not yet acquired these magical sentient equines for Fluke Island, despite her daughter’s constant requests.

Lady Luck’s Daughter is Called “Baby Needs New Shoes”

Probability is not allowed in her mother’s casino until she becomes of age. Nonetheless, the little girl has a flawless mental ability to compute odds, calculate entropy decay rates, and mathematically predict when her brother will bring up a yucky boy’s topic during dinner.

Find out more about Probability’s adventures in these Clockpunk Wizard stories:

Old Bony Blue Eyes
Glitter Ponies

Bestiarum Vocabulum: Ice Devil

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The Bestiarum Vocabulum is the wizard’s encyclopedia of faerie beasties and mundane crossovers living in the lake and forest near Lita’s castle.

Ice Devil

ice devil [īs devəl] noun, c.900; ON īss < Ger eis < OE īs < ME; c.1100; Sanskrit gurate; dia- + ballein to throw < Gr diabolos < LL diabolus < OE dēofol < ME devel; also ice hate

Denizen of the Clockpunk Wizard world.
A non-sentient magical creature composed of strong, negative emotions encased in ambulatory frozen water. An ice devil stands almost four feet tall, and bristles with icicles. The creature has a head, but no eyes. Ice devils immobilize their prey with a spell that numbs the limbs, and then stabs with the icicles. They feed on the victim’s blood and magic.
Personages: Ice Devil pack in the Wager Island highlands in Old Bony Blue Eyes
See: “Ice Devils”

Try a Spell to Play With Her Hair

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Lita takes Gentle Reader to the world of Clockpunk Wizard today, with an excerpt from her story, Old Bony Blue Eyes.

Mermaids Ride in Water Pearls

Young Wizard Kadmeion, his assistant Sir Bright, and their three wee fairies are travelling on the wizard’s airship through a region called the Water Pearls.

These floating globes of seawater carry marine creatures far above the ocean surface, and the spheres often catch in airship sails. A mermaid’s Water Pearl has tangled in a mooring line on the cabin roof. The magic-ravenous mermaid lured the wizard’s fairies near her with a glamour spell. She tried to catch and eat the magic-befuddled fey-folk. Bright heard their cries, intervened, and saved their three tiny shipmates. He then summoned the wizard to join them on the cabin roof.

“I’ve wanted to speak with the merfolk for some time,” Kadmeion said to the mermaid. “But eating my fairies is not the way to win my regard.”

Eating My Fairies is Not the Way to Win My Regard

Bright felt the itch of the mermaid’s renewed attraction spell. Izlyesende gasped, pinched the narfleet’s ear, and relaxed when Bright’s natural glamour resistance protected the three fairies. Izlyesende kissed the squeezed spot in apology. Bright’s ear tingled from the fairy’s magic.

“Stop it, Madam Mermaid,” Kadmeion said. “Your trick will not work on me.”

Her glamour spell trickled away. This mermaid was a colorless, almost translucent being. She turned around once in her bubble, tried unsuccessfully to push her Water Pearl away from its mooring to the cabin roof, then curled into a waiting stance.

“Will you hold my hand, Sir Wizard?”

“You would surely bite me if I allowed that.”

Magic Too Long Denied Has Made Us Greedy

“Mer has poor magical fare,” she said.

“Is that why mermaids savage wizards that fall into the sea?”

“Magic too long denied has made us greedy.” She brushed away her floating cloud of white hair, and gave it an impatient glance.

If you want to woo her cooperation, Kadmeion, try a spell to play with her hair, Bright mind spoke.

Bright’s suggestion earned him a glance, then a nod from the wizard. Kadmeion turned back to the fussing mermaid, and sang this spell.

“Lovely mermaid encased in Water Pearl,
You grace my airship with hair unfurled.
Beautiful silver tresses
Replace land-lady’s dresses.
Your hair now obeys me. Undulate. Curl.”

Kadmeion lifted his hand and made a delicate swirling motion. The mermaid’s long hair lifted away from her face, and mimicked the wizard’s hand movement. He made her locks sway and swim to his whim. Kadmeion first twirled the long strands around her slim waist, and spun them atop her head in a confectionary arrangement of braids and sparkling magical bits.

By the time he finished the spell, the mermaid’s eyes glowed with pleasure. Her smile was now friendly instead of predatory.

Dramatis Personæ: Furgo

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Wizard Familiar Furgo

Furgo [fər ɡō] proper noun, c.1400; Sanskrit pāti < Greek pōma < Old High Gr fuotar < Gr fuerre < An-Fr furrer < ME furren; c.900; Gr gehen < Old High Gr gēn < OE gān < ME gon; also Furgo-boy, Furgo-dog

Profession: Animal familiar for Wizard Kadmeion and Assistant Bright
Race: Sentient Magical Creature Cynanthrope (dog/human shapeshifter), male, 9-16 years old for human form, middle age for dog form, and an intermediate combination form
Appearance: brown eyes, black/brown hair, slender build
Full Name: Furgo
Formal Title: Wizard Familiar
Honorifics: Sir Wizard Familiar
Education: No formal schooling; human intellectual abilities acquired through magical binding to a wizard
Milieu: Furgo is a denizen of the Clockpunk Wizard world

Dog-to-Human Shapeshifting

Furgo is a rare dog-to-human shapeshifter rescued by Wizard Kadmeion during a mandrake root extraction on Holcomb Island. Furgo’s default form is a small black dog. He has a rarely used intermediate form of a brownie-sized fur-covered human.

Furgo can alter the apparent age of his human appearance, presenting a handsome lad of nine to sixteen years old. Because Furgo has an unusual situation with his human soul, he cannot age beyond his teenager years. This is another rare magical state called “Forever Boy.”

The cynanthrope’s caretakers sometimes use the names “Furgo-boy” or “Furgo-dog” to summon Furgo’s requested form. Kadmeion enchanted the cynanthrope to remember a silly spell that empowers Furgo to switch forms at will. The cynanthrope willingly wears a wizard’s medallion to display his Familiar role, and to focus his benefactor’s magic.

A Cynanthrope Retains Dog Traits in Its Human Form

While in human form, Furgo retains his dominant dog traits, namely loyalty, protectiveness, and happy nature. When in his dog form, Furgo retains some of his human intellect. In all his forms, Furgo’s most remarkable trait is his adorable puppy-dog eyes.

See Treasure Under Furgo-Boy’s Bed, Go Fer and Furgo, and Bestiarum Vocabulum: Cynanthrope for more about Furgo and shapeshifting.

Find out more about Furgo’s many adventures as Wizard Kadmeion’s familiar in the Clockpunk Wizard stories:

Lita Celebrates: Clockpunk Books Now Just a Buck

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Methinks Lita Lost Her Mind

Lita Burke has reduced the price of all her Clockpunk Wizard stories to just a measly buck each. Methinks she lost her mind. Get the books now before Lita regains her senses.

What is the Fuss About?

Lita is giddy.

She is pleased to announce that the first draft of the next Clockpunk Wizard story, called Glitter Ponies, is complete. It’s done. “Done” is a delicious word. To celebrate, Lita opened a bottle of champagne and shared the bubbly joy with Mister Lita. But that was not enough. Gentle Reader, you have been so patient, so why not join the celebration? Lita has reduced Ephraim’s Curious Device and Old Bony Blue Eyes to 99¢ to tantalize your reading enjoyment.

It is now easier than ever to visit the plate-shaped ocean world filled with wizardry, fantasy creatures, and Leonardo Da Vinci technology. But these book prices are for only for a short time. Catch the wizard’s airship today and get all three Clockpunk Wizard tales at this absurd discount while the bubbly distracts Lita.

Forever Boy (Clockpunk Wizard #1) always 99¢