Tag Archives: gentle reader

Handsome Young Man Awaits a Magical Elevator Pitch

Ephraim’s Elevator Pitch

All sorts of odd things happen at Lita’s castle. Even a trip on a mundane lift turns magical when a sorceress goes along for the ride.

The Box Beyond This Door Whisks You From the Ground to the Clouds in a Magical Minute

The Box Beyond This Door Whisks You From the Ground to the Clouds in a Magical Minute

The fun of fantasy worlds is that anyone can turn the mundane into the fantastic. Consider the magic of elevators. You enter the box on the ground floor of a lofty office building, and faster than an eagle can fly, it transports Gentle Reader to the building’s peak among the clouds. See? Magical.

Let Lita spin an enchantment the next time Gentle Reader rides in one of those lovely magical boxes. Now suppose this happens instead. Press the Up button to call enchantment. The doors rumble open. You, Madam Lita, and two others step inside the compartment. The elevator doors close, and then sigh as if whispering magical words. One of your companions, a jeans-clad guy all curious and handsome, sits down in front of the doors. “Madam Lita, tell me your tale,” he says. “But you have only a minute to beguile me.”

Press the Up Button to Summon Enchantment

Press the Up Button to Summon Enchantment

Well. Lita would smile, rub her hands, and weave this spell called Elevator Pitch.

“Let me tell you Ephraim’s sad and lovely tale,” Lita says. “It is about a wizard who seeks a magical thingummy to free his kidnapped familiar.”

Your other elevator companion, a suit-clad businessman whose face looks like he eats unsweetened lemons, shakes his head. He sets down his stuffed and tired leather briefcase, and then crosses his arms. “Tell me more, Madam Lita. Good luck enchanting this doubting fool.”

“The young Wizard Kadmeion struggles with getting his magician-for-hire business off the ground.” Lita goes on about the wizard’s adventures in the skies filled with islands floating above the sea. [Find more of Lita’s spell here]

Beyond the Lift's Doors Stretches a Grassy Airship Field

Beyond the Lift’s Doors Stretches a Grassy Airship Field

The satisfied young man blocking the exit stands. He steps aside and the elevator doors bang open. The lemon-faced man jumps.

Lita and the jeans-wearing man grin. Beyond the lift’s doors stretches a grassy airship field from the plate-shaped ocean world of Ephraim’s Curious Device. Take a deep breath and smell the grass and engine oil. Hear the screeching birds and the thumping of the propellers. Shiver a bit, because it is chilly beyond the doors.

“That’s impossible,” says lemon-faced man.

The handsome guy makes a grand gesture. His hand leaves a ribbon of glittery magic in the air. “See the fantasy world for yourself, doubting sir, and be a fool no more.”

The Enchantment So Beguiled Him, the Visitor Forgot His Briefcase

The Enchantment So Beguiled Him, the Visitor Forgot His Briefcase

Lemon-faced man nods, adjusts his tie, and steps across the threshold. The elevator doors close. Oops. The enchantment so beguiled him, the visitor forgot his briefcase stuffed with mundane world cares. Not to worry. He can fetch his Case of Cares during the return trip.

“Ah, Madam Lita. Tell me another Elevator Pitch?” jeans-clad man asks. He punches the Down button, again settles to the floor, and awaits the next story.

Lita again rubs her hands. “Let’s find more beguiling tales at Lisa’s Elevator Pitches.”

Ephraim’s Curious Device on Amazon US

Ephraim’s Curious Device on Amazon UK

Ephraim’s Curious Device on Goodreads

Read about Lisa Hall’s Elevator Pitches

Stop by Lita Burke's Blog for a Cuppa Fantasy Fun

2013 Lita Burke Blog in Review

Those Clever Business Simians at WordPress.com Crunched the Numbers

Those Clever Business Simians at WordPress.com Crunched the Numbers

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2013 annual report for the “About the Fantasy Worlds of Lita Burke” blog.

The year 2013 draws to a close, and tonight it will be party time for Lita and many others. Let us first indulge in some sober reflection (apologies for the wicked pun) before we open the champagne.

How well did this marvelous airship of a blog transport Gentle Reader there and back again to Lita Burke’s elsewhere worlds? Which post was the most popular destination in 2013? It talked about how fiction writers go invisible in the real world. Who were the top four lovely people that referred others to the blog? The news thrilled Lita to find two new blog friends on this list of referrers. Here is an excerpt from the Lita Burke Blog Annual Report:

A New York City subway train holds 1,200 people. This blog was viewed about 4,100 times in 2013. If it were a NYC subway train, it would take about 3 trips to carry that many people.

Wear Whatever Mad Outfit Suits Your Mood and Stop by Lita Burke's Blog in 2014 for a Cuppa Fantasy Fun

Wear Whatever Mad Outfit Suits Your Mood and Stop by Lita Burke’s Blog in 2014 for a Cuppa Fantasy Fun

Thank you for visiting in 2013, Gentle Reader. More journeys to Lita Burke’s fantasy worlds await you in 2014.

We shall have so much fun this coming year, hobnobbing with our fellow wizards and sneaking luscious cinnamon-chocolate-peppery spiced magical kisses from the Enchanters.

Be sure to get your seat on the airship for the next Clockpunk Wizard story Glitter Ponies early in 2014. A little later in the year, we will return to the Enchanters of Sye world with Ghost Orchid.

Airship Leaves Now for the Clockpunk Wizard World

New: Book Trailer for Old Bony Blue Eyes

Enter a Fantasy World Stuffed with Wizardry, Clockwork Gadgets, and the Mechanisms of da Vinci

Enter a Fantasy World Stuffed with Wizardry, Clockwork Gadgets, and the Mechanisms of da Vinci

Visit a 16th century world filled with the technology of Leonardo da Vinci and ~twisty~ wizard’s magic.

Lita is pleased to invite Gentle Reader onto the Clockpunk Wizard airship to view the book trailer for Old Bony Blue Eyes.

Along the way to Sir Death’s castle, watch for the lurking monsters and opportunistic beauties. Talk with a cranky dragon, see the lovely Lady Luck, then guard the wizard’s back during his battleground visit with the bickering egos of Lord and Madam War. All of that before we arrive at Undying Island and endure the deadly trials on the Longest Mile Road.

Airship Leaves Now for the Clockpunk Wizard World

Airship Leaves Now for the Clockpunk Wizard World

Be sure to bring your own lunch–wizards say that Old Bony sets a poor table. The reason why might surprise you.

A must-see at the castle is The Library. The tomes hold all the magical wisdom from Wizard Kadmeion’s plate-shaped, ocean world. But beware of the madness in some of Sir Death’s books.

Wait no longer. Watch your step on the gangplank. Come see the Old Bony Blue Eyes book trailer on YouTube now, before the airship sails away.

Lita is Overcome by All of the Attention

Old Bony Blue Eyes: Featured in End of Summer Releases

Lita's Heart Flutters from the Attention

Lita’s Heart Flutters from the Attention

Oh my. Lita is overcome by all the attention over Old Bony Blue Eyes.

Prattle about Old Bony Blue Eyes

Indies Unlimited announced its roundup of New Late Summer Releases today, and they included Lita’s Old Bony Blue Eyes.

In Old Bony, Wizard Kadmeion and his friends face a dangerous journey to Sir Death’s castle to win a powerful spell book for a love-starved dragon.

If Gentle Reader has not yet embarked on this latest trip to the Clockpunk Wizard world, take a seat in the airship’s forward observation lounge–it has the best views–and start things off with Chapter 1. We drop in on Kadmeion’s assistant, the half-elf Sir Bright, amid a dreadful row with an ill-mannered Goon.

Other Juicy Tidbits

Curious about other hubbub over Lita’s books? Then be sure to check out the News Releases alcove next to the dining room. Still nosey? Then let’s talk. Lita is in the airship’s quercetum with the resident fairies and talking with the Smashwords folks. Also stop by the Interviews library next to Kadmeion’s magical workshop to read more Lita talk.

A wizard faces a peril-filled journey to Sir Death’s castle to win a powerful spell book for a love-starved dragon.

Announcing the Release of Old Bony Blue Eyes

Clockpunk Wizard World is a Land of Airships, Automata Powered by Minor Demons, and the Technology of Da Vinci

Clockpunk Wizard World is a Land of Airships, Automata Powered by Minor Demons, and the Technology of Da Vinci

It is time to buy your ticket and take your seat. The airship leaves now for another trip to the Clockpunk Wizard fantasy world of Lita Burke. All aboard!

Old Bony Blue Eyes, the next story in the Clockpunk Wizard series, was released in all eBook formats today. Instant gratification is available now for Gentle Reader’s Kindle, iPad/iPhone, or Nook.

In Old Bony, Wizard Kadmeion faces a peril-filled journey to Sir Death’s castle to win a powerful spell book for a love-starved dragon. Along the way, he gets questionable help from Lady Luck and the bickering duo of Lord and Madam War.

A wizard faces a peril-filled journey to Sir Death’s castle to win a powerful spell book for a love-starved dragon.

A wizard faces a peril-filled journey to Sir Death’s castle to win a powerful spell book for a love-starved dragon.

Kadmeion’s half-elf assistant Sir Bright, and the wizard’s weredog familiar Furgo, go with him on his trip. They learn that Sir Death is a wizard with a curious shortcoming, plus he owns a wonderful library stuffed with all of their world’s magical knowledge.

This trip, we visit the airship pilot Copernicus and learn the differences among minor demons that inhabit homunculi. Fairy Izlyesende coaches Kadmeion about girlfriends. And Sir Death shows Kadmeion the dangers that powerful wizards weave when they laugh themselves silly.

Enjoy your trip to Lita’s Clockpunk Wizard world. Old Bony Blue Eyes available now on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Smashwords.

Advice to all Wizards Visiting Death's Castle--Bring Your Own Food, and Do the Cooking

Just Dying to Visit Sir Death’s Castle

Warning to all Wizards Visiting Sir Death's Castle--You Must Do the Cooking

Warning to all Wizards Visiting Sir Death’s Castle–You Must Do the Cooking

Magicians in the Clockpunk Wizard world gossip about the reclusive Sir Death, whose wizardry began long before their world created the Magic Guild.

In this coming Saturday, August 31st release of Old Bony Blue Eyes, Wizard Kadmeion has endured the morality tales of Death’s hobbies and suffered a profound loss to his magical ability on his journey to Sir Death’s castle. And those aren’t the worst parts of the trip.

A humiliating game with the threat of years of magical servitude to Old Bony Blue Eyes await Kadmeion if he loses. All this because of his promise to a love-starved dragon. At least he doesn’t have to do any magical chores during his visit–just the cooking.

Why endure these insults? Because all the world’s magical knowledge await in Sir Death’s library. If Kadmeion wins the day, his prize is what matters most to wizards. Access to powerful spells. A step-by-step book that explains women. And most important of all, he learns what happens when powerful wizards tell really, really good jokes.

In just a couple of days, Gentle Reader can get a copy of Old Bony Blue Eyes and learn these answers, too. Here is how Kadmeion’s journey to Sir Death’s castle begins in Chapter 1 of Old Bony Blue Eyes.

Meet Lady Luck in the Clockpunk Wizard world. No wizard can resist wooing her fortunate magic.

Luck is Not a Lady

Lady Luck lives in the Upper Wager Meadows on Fluke Isle in the Clockpunk Wizard world. No wizard can resist wooing her auspicious magic.

Lady Luck lives in the Upper Wager Meadows on Fluke Isle in the Clockpunk Wizard world. No wizard can resist wooing her auspicious magic.

Lady Luck, the patron magician of gamblers and jaywalkers. Fickle? Definitely. Lovely? Of course. Wizards of all ilk, beware of her ~twisty~ clockpunk magic! 

Where does she live? Why, Lady Luck lives on floating Fluke Isle, about halfway between the hub and rim of the plate-shaped ocean world in Clockpunk Wizard.

Does she weave spells? Oh yes. Wizard Kadmeion needs Lady Luck’s help to win a rare magic book from Sir Death. Problem is, when it comes to women’s magic, even wizards cannot calculate the odds.

Would you like to meet her? Lita introduces Gentle Reader to Ms. Luck in the upcoming story Old Bony Blue Eyes. Old Bony release date is this coming Saturday, August 31st.

Read Chapter 1 of Old Bony Blue Eyes to see how Kadmeion and Bright’s lucky troubles begin. Along the way, they hear Lady Luck’s shocking news about a lost wager, a very long trip, and Sir Death’s weakness.