Category Archives: Old Bony Blue Eyes

A Wizard's Airship

Try a Spell to Play With Her Hair

Lita takes Gentle Reader to the world of Clockpunk Wizard today, with an excerpt from her story, Old Bony Blue Eyes.

Mermaids Ride in Water Pearls

Mermaids Ride in Water Pearls

Young Wizard Kadmeion, his assistant Sir Bright, and their three wee fairies are travelling on the wizard’s airship through a region called the Water Pearls.

These floating globes of seawater carry marine creatures far above the ocean surface, and the spheres often catch in airship sails. A mermaid’s Water Pearl has tangled in a mooring line on the cabin roof. The magic-ravenous mermaid lured the wizard’s fairies near her with a glamour spell. She tried to catch and eat the magic-befuddled fey-folk. Bright heard their cries, intervened, and saved their three tiny shipmates. He then summoned the wizard to join them on the cabin roof.

“I’ve wanted to speak with the merfolk for some time,” Kadmeion said to the mermaid. “But eating my fairies is not the way to win my regard.”

Eating My Fairies is Not the Way to Win My Regard

Eating My Fairies is Not the Way to Win My Regard

Bright felt the itch of the mermaid’s renewed attraction spell. Izlyesende gasped, pinched the narfleet’s ear, and relaxed when Bright’s natural glamour resistance protected the three fairies. Izlyesende kissed the squeezed spot in apology. Bright’s ear tingled from the fairy’s magic.

“Stop it, Madam Mermaid,” Kadmeion said. “Your trick will not work on me.”

Her glamour spell trickled away. This mermaid was a colorless, almost translucent being. She turned around once in her bubble, tried unsuccessfully to push her Water Pearl away from its mooring to the cabin roof, then curled into a waiting stance.

“Will you hold my hand, Sir Wizard?”

“You would surely bite me if I allowed that.”

Magic Too Long Denied Has Made Us Greedy

Magic Too Long Denied Has Made Us Greedy

“Mer has poor magical fare,” she said.

“Is that why mermaids savage wizards that fall into the sea?”

“Magic too long denied has made us greedy.” She brushed away her floating cloud of white hair, and gave it an impatient glance.

If you want to woo her cooperation, Kadmeion, try a spell to play with her hair, Bright mind spoke.

Bright’s suggestion earned him a glance, then a nod from the wizard. Kadmeion turned back to the fussing mermaid, and sang this spell.

“Lovely mermaid encased in Water Pearl,
You grace my airship with hair unfurled.
Beautiful silver tresses
Replace land-lady’s dresses.
Your hair now obeys me. Undulate. Curl.”

Kadmeion lifted his hand and made a delicate swirling motion. The mermaid’s long hair lifted away from her face, and mimicked the wizard’s hand movement. He made her locks sway and swim to his whim. Kadmeion first twirled the long strands around her slim waist, and spun them atop her head in a confectionary arrangement of braids and sparkling magical bits.

By the time he finished the spell, the mermaid’s eyes glowed with pleasure. Her smile was now friendly instead of predatory.

(Old Bony Blue Eyes excerpt Copyright 2013 by Lita Burke. All rights reserved.)

Read more in Chapter 1

View the book trailer on YouTube

Old Bony Blue Eyes on Amazon US

Old Bony Blue Eyes on Amazon UK

Old Bony Blue Eyes on Smashwords, Kobo and Goodreads

Magic Books Here

Come See These Wonders at the Bazaar

Lita takes Gentle Reader to the bazaar today.

Dizzy Yourself on Flying Chairs

Dizzy Yourself on Flying Chairs

Ah, look at all the lovely stories scattered about at Demelza’s bookseller’s stall. Her tales tell Gentle Reader why Hell is really the corporate world. Find all kinds of genres at Demelza’s–romance, YA, science fiction, and Lita’s favorite–fantasy. Browse the box sets, novels, and exciting short stories that are like a kiss in the dark by a stranger.

The bazaar has other magical wonders. Buy a beverage in a cup that fizzles away after your last sip. Dizzy yourself on flying chairs. There will even be a show tonight on trampoline.

Lita has a booth at the bazaar, too. All tickets to the wizard’s airship are now only 99 cents, no matter the destination. Welcome aboard. Visit the world of pellar magicians and hedge witches. Meet Lady Luck, Sir and Madam War, and the Queen of the Harpies. Check out the Clockpunk Wizard world at these bargain prices:

Forever Boy is available now on Amazon US/UK. Make your iPhone/iPad happy and pick it up in the Kobo store.

In this first trip to the Clockpunk Wizard world, a dog flees his cruel master, befriends a wizard, and discovers his shapeshifting magic. Let Lita introduce Gentle Reader to a couple of magical gents who have recently graduated from the Agatha University of Magical Arts and Sciences. Wizard Kadmeion and his half-elf assistant Sir Bright meet a dog with a remarkable enchantment.

Ephraim’s Curious Device is available now on Amazon US/UK. Don’t forget your smart phone, and get it at the Kobo store.

On this second trip to the Clockpunk Wizard world, a wizard seeks a magical thingummy to free his kidnapped familiar. A despicable minor noble has kidnapped Kadmeion’s familiar, and our two magic men set out on a series of adventures to find a trifle that will free Furgo. Problem is, this magical gadget may not exist.

Old Bony Blue Eyes is available now on Amazon US/UK. See, it’s also available at the Kobo store.

On this third trip to the Clockpunk Wizard world, a wizard faces a dangerous journey to Sir Death’s castle to win a powerful spell book for a love-starved dragon. Furgo comes along with Kadmeion and Bright to the edge of their plate-shaped ocean world, and beyond. They discover that Death’s wizard is not what they expected at all.

Pick Up a Clockpunk Wizard Book

Lita Celebrates: Clockpunk Books Now Just a Buck

Methinks Lita Lost Her Mind

Methinks Lita Lost Her Mind

Lita Burke has reduced the price of all her Clockpunk Wizard stories to just a measly buck each. Methinks she lost her mind. Get the books now before Lita regains her senses.

What is the Fuss About?

Lita is giddy.

She is pleased to announce that the first draft of the next Clockpunk Wizard story, called Glitter Ponies, is complete. It’s done. “Done” is a delicious word. To celebrate, Lita opened a bottle of champagne and shared the bubbly joy with Mister Lita. But that was not enough. Gentle Reader, you have been so patient, so why not join the celebration? Lita has reduced Ephraim’s Curious Device and Old Bony Blue Eyes to 99¢ to tantalize your reading enjoyment.

It is now easier than ever to visit the plate-shaped ocean world filled with wizardry, fantasy creatures, and Leonardo Da Vinci technology. But these book prices are for only for a short time. Catch the wizard’s airship today and get all three Clockpunk Wizard tales at this absurd discount while the bubbly distracts Lita.

Forever Boy (Clockpunk Wizard #1) always 99¢

A dog flees his cruel master, befriends a wizard, and discovers his shapeshifting magic.

Amazon US, UK, CA, AU

Smashwords and Kobo

Barnes & Noble

 

 

Ephraim’s Curious Device (Clockpunk Wizard #2) now only 99¢

A wizard seeks a legendary magical device to free his kidnapped familiar.

Amazon US, UK, CA, AU

Smashwords and Kobo

Barnes & Noble

 

 

Old Bony Blue Eyes (Clockpunk Wizard #3) now only 99¢

A wizard goes on a journey to Death’s castle to win a spell book for a dragon.

Amazon US, UK, CA, AU

Smashwords and Kobo

Barnes & Noble

 

Ice Devil

Ice Devils

Lita takes Gentle Reader to the land of Clockpunk Wizard today, with an excerpt from Old Bony Blue Eyes.

Mountain Pass to Fearsome Valley

Mountain Pass to Fearsome Valley

Wizard Kadmeion, his assistant Sir Bright, and the wizard’s cynanthrope familiar Furgo have flown their airship to floating Wager Island. They now journey by horseback over a mountain pass to Lady Luck’s home. They must take this difficult path because workers are repairing the Lady’s airship dock.

They must cross the glacier-filled Fearsome Valley. The wizard says that if they are lucky, they will not meet the unpleasant residents called Ice Devils. The mountain path has narrowed, and the travelers must walk their horses single file. They go around a curve. Before them stretches Fearsome Valley. And unfortunately, they have a welcoming committee.

An odd glint caught Bright’s eye. He turned his head and froze.

An Ice Devil stood on the snow. Bright’s imagination had been too kind. This dazzling horror was almost four feet tall and bristled with icicles. The creature radiated nastiness and sucked joy from the air. The only good news was that the creature stood twenty feet away from the path.

“Kadmeion? Are you sure Ice Devils can’t leave the snow?”

“I am sure. Maybe it won’t follow us.”

They Journey by Horseback Over a Mountain Pass to Lady Luck's Home

They Journey by Horseback Over a Mountain Pass to Lady Luck’s Home

Not to be. The Ice Devil skittered across the glacier’s surface, and then froze. Bright saw no eyes in the part of the creature that resembled a head, but the narfleet was positive it had no difficulty tracking their movements. They rounded a bend. A rockfall blocked the trail. Ten Ice Devils waited at the snow line.

“Can you blast the fall away with magic, Kadmeion?”

The wizard examined the heap of dirt and rocks. Kadmeion shook his head.

“Could you elevate the largest rocks so we can get by?” Bright asked. “The entire slide doesn’t need moving, only enough so we can get over it.”

“I can do that, but it will be difficult.”

(Old Bony Blue Eyes excerpt Copyright 2013 by Lita Burke. All rights reserved.)

Read more in Chapter 1

Old Bony Blue Eyes on Amazon US

Old Bony Blue Eyes on Amazon UK

Old Bony Blue Eyes on Smashwords

Old Bony Blue Eyes on Barnes & Noble

Monkeys Do the Cooking

True. Monkeys Do the Cooking in Death’s Castle

Lita takes Gentle Reader to the land of Clockpunk Wizard today, with an excerpt from Old Bony Blue Eyes.

Sir Death's Castle on Undying Island, at Rim's Edge

Sir Death’s Castle on Undying Island, at Rim’s Edge

Wizard Kadmeion and his assistant Sir Bright have arrived at Death’s castle. The wizard went to The Library to seek out Charon and his resident magician, Wizard Mephistopheles. Because Death is notorious for setting a poor dinner table, Bright went to the kitchen to fix dinner for himself and the two wizards. He is doing an inventory the pantry. Behind him, three entities shuffle in through the open kitchen door. Without needing to turn around, his magical sense tells Bright that his visitors are demons inhabiting homunculus bodies.

Bright turned and sucked in a breath. The narfleet was a clockworks magician who assembled metal automata to house the minor demons that Kadmeion summoned. Bright’s magical profession had counterparts who prepared plants or animal bodies for the same purpose. Here were three examples of a Meat-Man’s dreadful artistry.

Kadmeion went to The Library to seek out Charon and his resident magician, Wizard Mephistopheles.

Kadmeion went to The Library to seek out Charon and his resident magician, Wizard Mephistopheles.

An orangutan, a chimpanzee, and a tiny Capuchin monkey waited at the doorway. These homunculi wore miniature versions of Sir Death’s livery. The orangutan cracked his knuckles and looked everywhere but at Bright. The other two regarded him with large, awe-filled brown eyes.

“Good day, Sir Magician,” the chimpanzee said. “I am Theodore. The large fellow is Rupert. The wee one is Miss Constantinople. We are pleased to make your acquaintance.”

They looked at Bright with large, awe-filled brown eyes.

They looked at Bright with large, awe-filled brown eyes.

The demons’ respectful salutation required Bright to respond in kind. “Greetings, madam and gentlemen demons. I am Wolverhampton Brighton, the twice-seventh son of Elf-Lord M’Choakenchilde, and assistant to Wizard Kadmeion. You may call me Sir Bright.”

The three simians exchanged nods and grins. Rupert let out a happy screech. Miss Constantinople hopped in a circle and clapped her hands.

“Delighted to make your acquaintance, sir,” Theodore said. “You and your wizard’s reputations are known in the Nether Plains. Our master ordered us to help with your dinner preparations. We know nothing of cookery, but will do as you ask.”

(Old Bony Blue Eyes excerpt Copyright 2013 by Lita Burke. All rights reserved.)

Read Chapter 1 of Old Bony Blue Eyes for FREE

Old Bony Blue Eyes on Amazon US

Old Bony Blue Eyes on Amazon UK

Old Bony Blue Eyes on Smashwords

Old Bony Blue Eyes on Barnes & Noble

The Real Truth About Clockpunk Wizardry

Caught on Camera: The Real Truth About Clockpunk Wizardry

Turn up the lights and roll the cameras. In Lita Burke’s newest video, the author confesses to creating the Clockpunk Wizard world, telling the story inside of Old Bony Blue Eyes, and much more.

Here Lita Shows Us a Picture of an Elf's Home in the Clockpunk Wizard World

Here Lita Shows Us a Picture of an Elf’s Home in the Clockpunk Wizard World

The truth is now told. Lita finally steps forward and comes clean. She answers the endless questions Gentle Readers ask about the Steampunk, Clockpunk, and Fantasy genres.

Lita describes these three genres’ telltale clues that anyone can spot. She has pictures on them, and shows us.

There are more, almost naughty, details. Oh, the scandal when these three genres became a ménage à trois known as her Clockpunk Wizard world. Then there is that Old Bony Blue Eyes affair. Lita blushes, but tells us all about it.

For the crack investigators among you Gentle Readers, here are more clues about Old Bony Blue Eyes. It all starts with the book cover that has the verified picture of the charming wizard they call Sir Death. That part isn’t so bad.

What is much more incriminating is that the book cover comes with that suspicious, oh so brief spell that writers call The Pithy Sentence. Lita shows the cover and the pithy below. Wait, this next part is so sneaky. On the flip side of the book is more evidence in the back cover blurb.

A wizard faces a dangerous journey to Sir Death’s castle to win a powerful spell book for a love-starved dragon.

A wizard faces a dangerous journey to Sir Death’s castle to win a powerful spell book for a love-starved dragon.

Chapter 1 (Yes! Inside is actual proof about Clockpunk Wizardry.)

Old Bony Blue Eyes on Amazon US (So this is how Clockpunk Wizardry is spreading like a bad rash in fantasy circles.)

Old Bony Blue Eyes on Amazon UK (Wizard Kadmeion flew his airship across the pond, it seems.)

Old Bony Blue Eyes on Smashwords (iPads, tablets, and smartphones aren’t safe from this literary delight) Old Bony Blue Eyes on Barnes & Noble (and neither are Nooks).

Mermaid in a Bubble Trouble

Following a string of floating water globes called The Water Pearls

Following a string of floating water globes called The Water Pearls

Lita takes Gentle Reader to the land of Clockpunk Wizard today, with an excerpt from Old Bony Blue Eyes.

Wizard Kadmeion, Sir Bright, and the three fairies are on their airship and following a string of floating water globes called The Water Pearls to Sir Death’s island at the edge of their plate-shaped ocean world. A mermaid has taken a ride inside a large Water Pearl. Her globe has tangled in the airship’s rigging. Bright has just rescued their three fairies from the mermaid’s glamour spell. She is ravenous for magic, and tried to eat the fey-folk. Kadmeion has just climbed up to join them on the cabin roof. The mermaid tries her spell again, but this time focuses it on the young, magic-rich wizard.

Izlyesende kissed the squeezed spot in apology. Bright’s ear tingled from the fairy’s magic.

Izlyesende kissed the squeezed spot in apology. Bright’s ear tingled from the fairy’s magic.

Bright felt the itch of the mermaid’s renewed attraction spell. Izlyesende gasped, pinched the narfleet’s ear, and then relaxed when Bright’s natural glamour resistance protected the three fairies. Izlyesende kissed the squeezed spot in apology. Bright’s ear tingled from the fairy’s magic.

“Stop it, Madam Mermaid,” Kadmeion said. “Your trick will not work on me.”

Her glamour spell trickled away. This mermaid was a colorless, almost translucent being. She turned around once in her bubble, tried unsuccessfully to push her Water Pearl away from its mooring to the cabin roof, then curled into a waiting stance.

“Will you hold my hand, Sir Wizard?”

“You would surely bite me if I allowed that.”

“Will you hold my hand, Sir Wizard?”

“Will you hold my hand, Sir Wizard?”

“Mer has poor magical fare,” she said.

“Is that why mermaids savage wizards who fall into the sea?”

“Magic too long denied has made us greedy.” She brushed away her floating cloud of white hair and gave it an impatient glance.

If you want to woo her cooperation, Kadmeion, try a spell to play with her hair, Bright mind spoke.

Bright’s suggestion earned him a glance and a nod from the wizard. Kadmeion turned back to the fussing mermaid and sang this spell.

“Lovely mermaid encased in Water Pearl,
You grace my airship with hair unfurled.
Beautiful silver tresses
Replace land-lady’s dresses.
Your hair now obeys me. Undulate. Curl.”

The wizard made her locks sway and swim to his whim.

The wizard made her locks sway and swim to his whim.

Kadmeion lifted his hand and made a delicate swirling motion. The mermaid’s long hair lifted away from her face and mimicked the motion of the wizard’s hand.

He made her locks sway and swim to his whim. Kadmeion first twirled the long strands around her slim waist, and then spun them atop her head in a confectionary arrangement of braids and sparkling magical bits. By the time he finished the spell, the mermaid’s eyes glowed with pleasure.

(Old Bony Blue Eyes excerpt Copyright 2013 by Lita Burke. All rights reserved.)

Read Chapter 1 of Old Bony Blue Eyes for FREE

Old Bony Blue Eyes on Amazon US

Old Bony Blue Eyes on Amazon UK

Old Bony Blue Eyes on Smashwords

Old Bony Blue Eyes on Barnes & Noble