Tag Archives: orangutan

Monkeys Do the Cooking

True. Monkeys Do the Cooking in Death’s Castle

Lita takes Gentle Reader to the land of Clockpunk Wizard today, with an excerpt from Old Bony Blue Eyes.

Sir Death's Castle on Undying Island, at Rim's Edge

Sir Death’s Castle on Undying Island, at Rim’s Edge

Wizard Kadmeion and his assistant Sir Bright have arrived at Death’s castle. The wizard went to The Library to seek out Charon and his resident magician, Wizard Mephistopheles. Because Death is notorious for setting a poor dinner table, Bright went to the kitchen to fix dinner for himself and the two wizards. He is doing an inventory the pantry. Behind him, three entities shuffle in through the open kitchen door. Without needing to turn around, his magical sense tells Bright that his visitors are demons inhabiting homunculus bodies.

Bright turned and sucked in a breath. The narfleet was a clockworks magician who assembled metal automata to house the minor demons that Kadmeion summoned. Bright’s magical profession had counterparts who prepared plants or animal bodies for the same purpose. Here were three examples of a Meat-Man’s dreadful artistry.

Kadmeion went to The Library to seek out Charon and his resident magician, Wizard Mephistopheles.

Kadmeion went to The Library to seek out Charon and his resident magician, Wizard Mephistopheles.

An orangutan, a chimpanzee, and a tiny Capuchin monkey waited at the doorway. These homunculi wore miniature versions of Sir Death’s livery. The orangutan cracked his knuckles and looked everywhere but at Bright. The other two regarded him with large, awe-filled brown eyes.

“Good day, Sir Magician,” the chimpanzee said. “I am Theodore. The large fellow is Rupert. The wee one is Miss Constantinople. We are pleased to make your acquaintance.”

They looked at Bright with large, awe-filled brown eyes.

They looked at Bright with large, awe-filled brown eyes.

The demons’ respectful salutation required Bright to respond in kind. “Greetings, madam and gentlemen demons. I am Wolverhampton Brighton, the twice-seventh son of Elf-Lord M’Choakenchilde, and assistant to Wizard Kadmeion. You may call me Sir Bright.”

The three simians exchanged nods and grins. Rupert let out a happy screech. Miss Constantinople hopped in a circle and clapped her hands.

“Delighted to make your acquaintance, sir,” Theodore said. “You and your wizard’s reputations are known in the Nether Plains. Our master ordered us to help with your dinner preparations. We know nothing of cookery, but will do as you ask.”

(Old Bony Blue Eyes excerpt Copyright 2013 by Lita Burke. All rights reserved.)

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Orangutan Looking Like People

3 Reasons Why Fiction Writers Worry Extroverts

Mister Introverted Writer Person Says "I'm Okay!"

Mister Introverted Writer Person Says “I’m Okay!”

Let’s talk today about how us introverted fiction writers vex our outgoing opposites. At best, extroverts wonder why we’re so silent. At worst, we fade away.

Lita recently read an article describing the differences between introverts and extroverts. The blog suggested fiction writers are introverts. Of course, we are. Let us explore this fantasy world.

Introverts have rich “inner lives,” prefer quiet environments, enjoy conversations about deep topics, and relish time alone to recharge. Do not confuse introverts with shy people; if properly motivated, introverts are outgoing and charming at a party. But after an hour, the effort exhausts the introverts and we are the first people to flee the gale, I mean gala, and seek a quiet place to regain our wits.

Extroverts thrive in interactions with others. They are party hounds, love small talk, and flock to high-energy people-oriented activities. Extroverts tolerate only small doses of “alone time” before they pick up the phone and seek the company of others. They talk about their families, their hobbies, and most anything that pops in to their head without stopping for breath. How they do go on. They produce a deluge of words, and seek affirmation in the dazzling verbal environment of person-to-person interactions. Fiction writer Lita endured a lifetime of extroverts trying to fix her calm and introspective ways. I wasn’t okay, to their point of view. Nonsense.

Orangutan Looking Like People

Orangutan Looking Like People

Reason #1: Invisibility is Real

Talking heads dominate television. Sporting events have non-stop commentators. Radio DJs chatter. Internet videos analyze everything from the latest celebrity drivel to pointless arguments on how orangutan look (or don’t look) like people.

But there are non-talking persons out there–the introverts. It’s like we have no mouthes. But we can talk plenty. More on this in a few minutes.

Talk, talk, and talk. Because introverts are not talking, we can fade from an extrovert’s notice. I’ve had extroverts continue their talking over the top of my sentences as if I wasn’t speaking. I continued to utter words, and they could not hear me. When I stopped giving non-verbal clues to encourage their outpour, they continued. I’ve even walked away in their mid-sentence (yes, even my patience has limits), and they talked to empty air. Who said invisibility isn’t real?

Talk, Talk, and Talk...

Talk, Talk, and Talk…

Reason #2: Inner Worlds are Talking Plenty

Introverts may have rich inner lives, but introverted writers carry entire worlds inside our heads. These inner worlds whisper, show us images, and endlessly present our story characters’ feelings, thoughts, and actions. We write down the images, sensations, and yes, the words.

This process sounds creepy only if you’re an extrovert. Writers are nodding by now because this is where the ideas for our stories come from. Here is the origin of “creativity.”

Of the fellow fiction writers I’ve talked with, each describes a different creative process. Some say they meditate, exercise, or get close to nature to release their inner stories. Some call it a muse who shats on their heads, while others shrug and say they have no idea how the stories come to them. But the stories appear spontaneously, much the same way the brain runs the heart and lungs with no tending by our conscious minds.

I have good news for the introverts. Fiction writing is the only acceptable occupation where it is okay to listen to the voices inside your head, write down their words, and not have the extroverts worry about your sanity.

Come. Let Us Show You the Worlds Inside Our Heads

Come. Let Us Show You the Worlds Inside Our Heads

Reason #3: Welcome to the Other Worlds

People love fiction, fantasy, and make-believe. As children, our play was making up stories and acting them out with toys and playmates. As adults, we struggle with the responsibilities of caring for family, tending careers, and generally seeing to accumulated responsibilities. But many of us love watching a good movie, or yes, reading a good book.

Where exactly are fictional places like Middle Earth, Hogwarts, and Narnia, on a map? For that matter, where does a Klingon, glitter-faced vampire, and Tinkerbell come from? Can you describe The Force? The Matrix? What Frankenstein’s monster looks like?

All of these pretend people, places, and things, first came from worlds inside of writers’ heads. To the extroverts reading this, please do not worry. Those worlds are a delight to explore. Come, take the introverted writer’s hand, and joins us. We will have such fun, then the writer will see you safely home.