Tag Archives: Clockpunk Wizard

Bestiarum Vocabulum: Woodland Satyr

The Bestiarum Vocabulum is the wizard’s encyclopedia of faerie beasties and mundane crossovers living in the lake and forest near Lita’s castle.

Woodland Satyr
Woodland Satyr

woodland satyr [wüd lənd sey ter] noun, 1325-1375; ME < L satyrus < Gr sátyros; also faun.

  1. Denizen of the Clockpunk Wizard world.
  2. One of two types of magical sentient creatures who are attendant on Wizard Bacchus. Woodland satyrs are part human and part goat. Woodland satyrs live in oak, beech, or aspen forests. They are notorious for their love of wine, lasciviousness, and boisterousness. All satyrs are male. They are affectionate with all women, but can only reproduce with sorceresses and other powerful female magicians.
  3. See grassland satyr in the Bestiarum Vocabulum.

Strange Case of the Half-Boy Half-Dog Baffles Scientists: A Clever Wizard Explains

Interviewers have a knack for getting Lita to confess all sorts of things. Here is more tittle-tattle about Clockpunk Wizardry.

Lita Wrote Her First Fantasy Story
Lita Wrote Her First Fantasy Story

In a recent interview, Lita chatted with the folks over at Authors’ Cave. After an exhaustive interrogation that required a pound of fine chocolates for medicinal purposes, out came the truth. The details may surprise Gentle Reader, or for the skeptics, it might sound like the usual fantasy worlds claptrap. You decide.

Yes, Girls Can Be Wizards Too

This scandal started decades ago when Lita wrote her first fantasy story and shared her masterpiece with family and friends. Oh, how they wrinkled their noses when the young heroine, who Lita called a wizard, helped a lost dragon find his way home.

These affectionate critics shouted that girls couldn’t be wizards. Witches, perhaps, or enchantresses. Sorceresses. “The whole concept was silly,” they said. Lita explains in the Authors’ Cave November 2014 eZine how she fixed that sorry state of affairs.

A Chocolate-Laced Interview Reveals the Truth About  the Magical Causes of Cynanthropy
A Chocolate-Laced Interview Reveals the Truth About the Magical Causes of Cynanthropy

Shocking Proof About the Half-Boy Half-Dog

Much of this chocolate-laced interview had to do with Clockpunk Wizardry. It was time for Lita to come clean about the mysterious case of the half-boy half-dog cynanthrope.

At first, Lita shrugged and tried to gloss over the specifics. “Anything can happen in fantasy worlds,” she said. Further questions brought out the truth.

The Authors’ Cave eZine for November 2014 has the first chapter proof concerning the boy/dog story. Lita describes the outrage of young science geeks writing made-up stories. Also learn about the surprising dangers of gardening mandrake roots, and why you should keep your pets far away.

Bestiarum Vocabulum: Grassland Satyr

The Bestiarum Vocabulum is the wizard’s encyclopedia of faerie beasties and mundane crossovers living in the lake and forest near Lita’s castle.

Grassland Satyr
Grassland Satyr

grassland satyr [gras lənd sey ter] noun, 1325-1375; ME < L satyrus < Gr sátyros; also centaur.

  1. Denizen of the Clockpunk Wizard world.
  2. One of two types of magical sentient creatures who are attendant on Wizard Bacchus. Grassland satyrs are part human and part horse. Grassland satyrs live on open prairies, veldt, and grassy meadows. They are notorious for their love of wine, lasciviousness, and boisterousness. All satyrs are male. They are affectionate with all women, but can only reproduce with sorceresses and other powerful female magicians.
  3. Personages: Grassland satyr herd on Veldt Island in Ephraim’s Curious Device and Old Bony Blue Eyes.
  4. See “Enchanting Veldt Island” and woodland satyr in the Bestiarum Vocabulum.

Bestiarum Vocabulum: Carnivorous Eel

The Bestiarum Vocabulum is the wizard’s encyclopedia of faerie beasties and mundane crossovers living in the lake and forest near Lita’s castle.

Carnivorous Eel
Carnivorous Eel

carnivorous eel [kahr ‘niv er uh s ēl] noun, c. 1650; < L  carnivorus, c. 1000; ME ele, OE ēl, ǣl; also ribbon fish.

  1. Denizen of the Clockpunk Wizard world.
  2. An aquatic magic eater about the length and girth of an adult human’s arm. Carnivorous eels inhabit freshwater ponds and lakes containing strong enchantment sources, such as the “heart magic” of a swamp. These opportunistic feeders will attack magic workers that enter their waters, tearing away leg flesh so their victims cannot flee.
  3. Personages: Murphy Swamp Eel Pool in Ephraim’s Curious Device.

Ephraim’s Elevator Pitch

All sorts of odd things happen at Lita’s castle. Even a trip on a mundane lift turns magical when a sorceress goes along for the ride.

The Box Beyond This Door Whisks You From the Ground to the Clouds in a Magical Minute
The Box Beyond This Door Whisks You From the Ground to the Clouds in a Magical Minute

The fun of fantasy worlds is that anyone can turn the mundane into the fantastic. Consider the magic of elevators. You enter the box on the ground floor of a lofty office building, and faster than an eagle can fly, it transports Gentle Reader to the building’s peak among the clouds. See? Magical.

Let Lita spin an enchantment the next time Gentle Reader rides in one of those lovely magical boxes. Now suppose this happens instead. Press the Up button to call enchantment. The doors rumble open. You, Madam Lita, and two others step inside the compartment. The elevator doors close, and then sigh as if whispering magical words. One of your companions, a jeans-clad guy all curious and handsome, sits down in front of the doors. “Madam Lita, tell me your tale,” he says. “But you have only a minute to beguile me.”

Press the Up Button to Summon Enchantment
Press the Up Button to Summon Enchantment

Well. Lita would smile, rub her hands, and weave this spell called Elevator Pitch.

“Let me tell you Ephraim’s sad and lovely tale,” Lita says. “It is about a wizard who seeks a magical thingummy to free his kidnapped familiar.”

Your other elevator companion, a suit-clad businessman whose face looks like he eats unsweetened lemons, shakes his head. He sets down his stuffed and tired leather briefcase, and then crosses his arms. “Tell me more, Madam Lita. Good luck enchanting this doubting fool.”

“The young Wizard Kadmeion struggles with getting his magician-for-hire business off the ground.” Lita goes on about the wizard’s adventures in the skies filled with islands floating above the sea. [Find more of Lita’s spell here]

Beyond the Lift's Doors Stretches a Grassy Airship Field
Beyond the Lift’s Doors Stretches a Grassy Airship Field

The satisfied young man blocking the exit stands. He steps aside and the elevator doors bang open. The lemon-faced man jumps.

Lita and the jeans-wearing man grin. Beyond the lift’s doors stretches a grassy airship field from the plate-shaped ocean world of Ephraim’s Curious Device. Take a deep breath and smell the grass and engine oil. Hear the screeching birds and the thumping of the propellers. Shiver a bit, because it is chilly beyond the doors.

“That’s impossible,” says lemon-faced man.

The handsome guy makes a grand gesture. His hand leaves a ribbon of glittery magic in the air. “See the fantasy world for yourself, doubting sir, and be a fool no more.”

The Enchantment So Beguiled Him, the Visitor Forgot His Briefcase
The Enchantment So Beguiled Him, the Visitor Forgot His Briefcase

Lemon-faced man nods, adjusts his tie, and steps across the threshold. The elevator doors close. Oops. The enchantment so beguiled him, the visitor forgot his briefcase stuffed with mundane world cares. Not to worry. He can fetch his Case of Cares during the return trip.

“Ah, Madam Lita. Tell me another Elevator Pitch?” jeans-clad man asks. He punches the Down button, again settles to the floor, and awaits the next story.

Lita again rubs her hands. “Let’s find more beguiling tales at Lisa’s Elevator Pitches.”

Ephraim’s Curious Device on Amazon US

Ephraim’s Curious Device on Amazon UK

Ephraim’s Curious Device on Goodreads

Read about Lisa Hall’s Elevator Pitches

Dramatis Personæ: Bright

The Dramatis Personæ is the roster of conjurers and sentient magical creatures staying in the many rooms, grottos, and byways of Lita’s castle. Here is an entry in the guest book for the Clockpunk Wizard Wing.

Sir Bright
Sir Bright

Bright [brīt] proper noun, c.1000; ME >OE beorht, breht > Gothic  bairht, Old Saxon beraht, Old Norse  bjartr; < berkto- Welsh  berth “splendid”; L flagrāre “to blaze”; Albanian bardhë “white”;  Sanskrit  bhrājate “shines”; also Brighton

  • Profession: Assistant for Wizard Kadmeion
  • Race: Narfleet (a half-blood with a human mother and elf father), male
  • Appearance: blue eyes, blond hair, medium build
  • Full Name: Wolverhampton Brighton M’Choakenchilde
  • Formal Title: Twice-Seventh Son Mage
  • Honorifics: Honorable Mage, Sir Bright
  • Education: Master Magician in the Clockwork Arts, summa cum laude, Agatha University of Magical Arts and Sciences
  • Milieu: Bright is a denizen of the Clockpunk Wizard world.
Nesting Land Porpoises Jumping to Their Rookery on the Floating Island of Dolphin Barns
Nesting Land Porpoises Jumping to Their Rookery on the Floating Island of Dolphin Barns

Bright is the seventh son of Elf Mage Higginbotham Norfiwyn M’Choakenchilde (also a seventh son), and Sorceress Wode Rilmandra. Bright’s father and grandfather are Princes of the Elf Court. Bright grew up on the floating island of Dolphin Barns, named after its extensive rookeries of nesting land porpoises. Because of his human mother and twice-seventh son lineage, his parents hoped that Norfiwyn’s seventh son would be a rare elf wizard (wizardry is a human magic). When Rilmandra became pregnant with Bright, Norfiwyn hired Wizard Pursuance to be his son’s magical caretaker.

Never Once Did Young Bright Ever Fall Out of a Tree
Never Once Did Young Bright Fall Out of a Tree

Pursuance was unable to control his greed. He enchanted the helpless babe in his crib and siphoned the lad’s magic for his own use. This parasite damaged Bright’s wizardry  and most of his native elf magic beyond repair. This hampered magical ability made growing up a trial. He was the frequent target of his older brothers’ teasing. The school bullies were especially harsh.

To escape the taunts and constant magical humiliation, young Bright fled to the forests and excelled at tree climbing. Never once did the boy fall out of a tree. Rilmandra, hopeful that somehow her son would become a mage, attributed his aerial safety to the remnants of his wizardry.

Professor Morton Introduced Bright to Wizard Kadmeion at the Agatha University of Magical Arts and Sciences
Professor Morton Introduced Bright to Wizard Kadmeion at the Agatha University of Magical Arts and Sciences

When Bright moved to Agatha to attend the university, he apprenticed as a rig monkey in the zeppelin yard. He planned to sign up for the Airship Guild after graduation.

Professor Morton introduced Bright to the soon-to-graduate Kadmeion. The wizardling took on the damaged narfleet as an assistant despite the naysayers. Because Kadmeion had known the now deceased Wizard Pursuance, Kadmeion could correct most of Bright’s magical damage. However, for the narfleet to work all but the simplest spells, he must share a profound magical binding with an accommodating wizard.

The Honorable Mage Brighton Has a Master Magician Degree in the Clockwork Arts
The Honorable Mage Brighton Has a Master Magician Degree in the Clockwork Arts

Bright’s love of trees blossomed into Arboriculture, which was his undergraduate minor at Agatha. His passion was cultivating oak trees.

He converted the bay window of his dormitory room into a quercetum, filled it with saplings, and lavished his scant enchantments on them. His roommates swore that when Bright talked to his pet trees, they answered the narfleet in sighing whispers.

See “Twice-Seventh Son Elf Magic.” Find out more about Bright’s many adventures as Wizard Kadmeion’s assistant in the Clockpunk Wizard stories:

Forever Boy – “Perfect for YA” Says Examiner.com

“Forever Boy is a wonderful escape story for older kids,” says an Examiner.com reviewer. “As well as adults who love a good magical fantasy that is unlike anything they’ve ever read before.”

Discover the Go Fer Dog's Magic in Forever Boy
Discover the Go Fer Dog’s Magic in Forever Boy

Launched in 2008, Examiner.com is a dynamic entertainment, news and lifestyle network that serves more than 20 million monthly readers across the U.S. and around the world.

Their Parent & Education Examiner,  Rhonda Cratty, recently read Lita Burke’s Forever Boy. Here is how her review begins:

Ready to read something original? Forever Boy (Clockpunk Wizard Book 1) by Lita Burke is unlike anything you have read before. Perfect for the YA reader. If Clockpunk genre is new to you, its fantasy/science fiction set in an age of clockwork machines, hansom cabs and airships. Lita has created a whole new unique world, with new rules and spiritual values.

Find out why the reviewer thinks Forever Boy is a perfect read for older kids. Read the entire review at Forever Boy perfect for the YA reader on Examiner.com. Visit Rhonda Cratty on Examiner.com or go to the Examiner.com homepage.

Forever Boy on Amazon US

Forever Boy on Amazon UK

Forever Boy on Smashwords

Forever Boy on Barnes & Noble

Forever Boy on Goodreads